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40 Funny dog quotes to make dog owners laugh till they cry

September 04, 2021 4 min read

Good for all of us that there are a lot of well-known celebrities and authors that love their dogs from the bottom of their heart. Let’s all celebrate our companions even more and laugh even louder with these 40 funny dog quotes from around the globe.

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  1. “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
  2. “Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.” — Steve Bluestone
  3. “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” — Mark Twain
  4. “What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!”— George Carlin
  5. “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” — Franklin P. Jones
  6. “To really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” — Edward Hoagland
  7. “Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” — Anne Tyler
  8. “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.”— Christopher Morley
  9. “I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” —Bonnie Schacter
  10. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret
  11. “I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!”— Jonah Goldberg
  12. “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
  13. “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” — Sue Murphy
  14. “A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” — Charlotte Gray
  15. “Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted.” — Sian Ford
  16. “A well-trained dog will not attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” — Helen Thomson
  17. “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” — Bernard Williams
  18. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
  19. “Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” — John Grogan
  20. “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.” — Aldous Huxley
  21. “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” — Rita Rudner
  22. “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
  23. “To keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” — Derek Bruce
  24. “When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” — Kristan Higgins
  25. “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” — Ann Landers
  26. “My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!”— Greg Curtis
  27. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’ ” — Dave Barry
  28. “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” —John Steinbeck
  29. “It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.” — Jay London
  30. “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” — Joe Weinstein
  31. “Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers.” — Jodi Picoult
  32. “If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few people.” — James Thurber
  33. “A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley
  34. “It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” — Rodney Dangerfield
  35. “If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.” — Fran Lebowitz
  36. “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley
  37. “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” — Harry Truman
  38. “Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you cant eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away”
  39. “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen”
  40. “Scratch a dog, and you’ll find a permanent job” – Ben Williams 

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It’s hard to resist a dog’s goofy charm. Their company keeps things interesting, keeps us laughing, and brings a lot of extra love into our lives. At Paw and Glory we can bring these moments to life with our customised pet portraits which capture those all important happy moments! 

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